saltdawg

(you lip my stocking?)

You are marked no matter where you go. You're white, and they know it. So there is no escaping the whores. They flock around you and you find that you've been buying them drinks for hours and you didn't even know it. But that's just the nature of the way things work. It's not your fault. There is nothing you can do.

Last night I ran into the second mate. he was playing connect four with "alice". I sat down and got my ass kicked at connect four for an hour straight.

Later, after the mate was gone, I was at the bar drinking and talking to alice. I she had no idea what I was saying. Fuck. I have no idea what I was saying. I was asking where I can get a panda-skin rug and shit like that. Telling them that I have a black belt in feung-shui. And then I noticed her prayer beads around her wrist.

I asked her if she was a buddhist, and she nodded yes. She fingered the beads and said something about the town where she grew up. She fingered her beads and took them off, and put them on my wrist. I asked her if she was giving them to me. She nodded yes, and tried to smile. At first I tried to give them back to her, but she was insistant that I keep them. She was trying to smile, and I kissed her forehead. She-she I said.

I said "she she" and kissed her forehead, and a tear ran down her cheek.

She was thinking of home. She was thinking about her boyfriend. She knew I wasn't taking her any place, but she had to keep talking to me because, after all, I was the one buying her bailey's and milk.

When I got back to my hotel room long after first light, I ripped the phone out of the wall.