Aww, man. The booze, the years, the SWELLING. She's probably got ten years on me and is still unmarried. At that time we could have been a good fit. Man, I remember sitting with her and her friendly neighborhood fire lieutenant, in December (?) of 2001 talking about the EPA's PR nightmare about air-borne toxin hysteria and the Lieutenant who had the nightmare of loosing most of his crew in the state/federal bar Spaghetti Western...Maybe back then.

But now? I'm just adrift. I don't even care about making an effort, even though I crave stability.

I don't know what I was getting at. She and I had a moment. Both of us would have gotten our asses kicked. But in the end, I blame the expensive booze forcing her to make really bad decisions. I don't think she was thinking "what if?" I think she was thinking "there but the grace of god go I..."

Or something along that sentiment.