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[personal profile] saltdawg
When I was sixteen, I sort of took advantage of a girl that had a crush on me.

No, I didn't take advantage in *that* way. I took advantage because she had a crush on me and worked at "the barn of fun" in Dennisport, Massachusetts. She worked at the barn of fun and ran the skee-ball machines. Skee-ball is one of the only competitive "sports" which I've ever taken an interest, practiced, and excelled at. I actually kind of hate most everything which involves "competition" except proving that I'm the most bad-assed, most awesomest dude, ever. You all know this already, but I'm the kind of guy who believes that my wallet IS worth my life.

Anyway, I wish I could even remember her name...She used to come down to the beach parking-lot and sit with me for hours during the daytime. She introduced me to "the cure" in one of those parking lots as a matter of fact. I was punk savvy, but not totally post-punk savvy at the time. In fact I was and still am kind of an idiot when it comes to music. I mean, I know what I like, but I've always been too lazy to go looking for what I want.

So anyway, I was sixteen and had my brand-new driver's license. The Barn Of Fun was clear across town and I'd drive my 1975 CJ-5 over there almost every evening, when there wasn't something better going on. I'd drive over there and she had this slug on a wire that she could put into the coin-slot for free credits on the machine. I'd get there and she'd hook me up with about one hundred credits or so. I got really good at Skee-Ball. I can't say that I'm as good as I was then, but the tickets and "prizes" really racked up. All because she gave me a free pass.

And sure, we'd flirt, but I always felt a little creepy because she had just left the eighth grade, and I was in high school. Funny how that minor difference doesn't even enter into the picture anymore. Once you're OLD. Like me.

The thing is that I'd win all these prizes and shit/crap and I never once thought to give a one of them to her. I'd either burn them in a bonfire later that night or hand them off to some random girl I believed would make out with me. Sad thing is that they usually did.

Anyway, sometimes, when words like "funnelcakes" get bandied around, I think about that poor girl with a crush on a total prick, who introduced that total prick to Lovecats....

I think about her and wonder about the what if's and whatnot. I wonder what kind of impact I actually had on her life. If she ever got in dutch for giving me all those free credits. I wonder if her memories of me even come close to my memories of her.

I can't remember her name, and I've deactivated Facebook, so I guess I'll never know. I miss her and wish I had been better to her. I wish that I UNDERSTOOD that she was doing all these things because she had a crush on me. But I think it's best left at the wondering. She was all High-Class and stuff and we'd have probably made another disaster story.

My point. Aside from being a Skee-ball prodigy. My point is that some relationships are best when they haven't been had. If you know what you mean.

Date: 2010-06-24 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjastyle.livejournal.com
You're so wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully pretty. Oh you know that I'd do anything for you.

Date: 2010-06-24 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
I'm probably the ugliest person you'll ever have the chance to meet.

"Human relationships didn't work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear: cranks, imbeciles, the demented, the vengeful, sadists, killers. Modern society had created its own kind and they feasted on each other. It was a duel to the death...in a cesspool."
(bukoski)

Date: 2010-06-24 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
I think I'm going to have to include me in the "sadist" category. Tenuous, but, yeah...I suppose I fit.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjastyle.livejournal.com
I was quoting "Lovecats" at you, silly. And no, you're not.

Here's my old standby:

“I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it.”

- Good ol' Burroughs

I hope you're alright.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjastyle.livejournal.com
I'll be over with the imbeciles. Hyuk hyuk hyuk. :)

Date: 2010-06-24 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
I once made out with a girl who claimed to be Robert smith's EX. She also claimed to be a former member of BANARAMA I think we need to talk.

Date: 2010-06-24 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeldakitty.livejournal.com
"I think I'm going to have to include me in the "sadist" category. Tenuous, but, yeah...I suppose I fit."

*purrs and wriggles*
Edited Date: 2010-06-24 04:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-06-24 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungryandhollow.livejournal.com
This is my favorite thing you've ever posted.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
we should have a contest or something, but you should read further back. this is crap.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungryandhollow.livejournal.com
Nah, this just speaks to me in a way that a lot of your stuff doesn't.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
word. It's not homophobic at all.

Date: 2010-06-24 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungryandhollow.livejournal.com
lol what

I mean, I like a lot of your stuff, but it's not all as accessible, i guess.

Date: 2010-06-24 09:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
What I meant to say was (because I just banged this crap out without much thought): Thanks, Man.
Honestly.

Now, get me a job in Korea.

Date: 2010-06-24 09:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungryandhollow.livejournal.com
Do you have a college degree?

Date: 2010-06-24 09:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
Sociology. '94. BUt that really doesn't matter. Being a seaman is so much more irresponsible...

Date: 2010-06-24 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungryandhollow.livejournal.com
If you've got a college degree, you can teach English in Korea.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girliebacchanal.livejournal.com
My point. Aside from being a Skee-ball prodigy. My point is that some relationships are best when they haven't been had. If you know what you mean.

This, right here, is so fucking great.

Date: 2010-06-24 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
someday.

someday you and me and that dude and the woman I'm unwilling to name will play nd me and unnamed woman will beat the SKEE BALL.

Date: 2010-06-24 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snatchbeast.livejournal.com
Kind of off-topic, but I'm fairly certain that I've been to said barn of fun =)

Date: 2010-06-24 09:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
no shit? it was an awesome place. I ended up crashing my Jeep on the way there one night. BUt that's another story..

I had my finest Ferris Buller vest on at the time. Your first car-crash is always the worst...

Date: 2010-06-24 09:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snatchbeast.livejournal.com
I spent far too much time in these types of places on Cape Cod, and have definitely been to one in Dennisport. It's what I did when I wasn't getting fucked by random boys or using self-destructive drugs.

Date: 2010-06-24 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
I truly hope I wasn't one of them. I was a predator. And the skooks were such easy prey...

Date: 2010-06-24 09:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snatchbeast.livejournal.com
I don't think so... I have a master list of names and such, have always kept such a list. Unless you are Josh Foreskin (I did not know his last name) or Aaron ?? you're probably safe =)

Date: 2010-06-24 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
Thank god. I always used the pseudonym of "hunter Thompson" when I was BARN o' FUN age...

Date: 2010-06-24 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snatchbeast.livejournal.com
Did no one see through this? Even at fifteen/sixteen/whatever I knew who HST was...

Date: 2010-06-24 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltdawg.livejournal.com
the only time I got called on it was by a bunch of 40+ dudes i was wading with a "special" cigarette with. everybody else took it as word.

Granted, there WAS a "wild hunter's way" In the neighborhood that my "possee" could lend credence to....

Date: 2010-06-24 10:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snatchbeast.livejournal.com
That's where I went wrong, I never had much of a posse.

Date: 2010-06-25 08:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qp4.livejournal.com
Yeah, since I got married I'm not allowed to even attempt to write shit like this, but I got a few of these stories.

They're probably my favorite to tell.

Date: 2010-06-25 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pandrax.livejournal.com
This was good. Don't hold back.
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