saltdawg: (Mugshot)
[personal profile] saltdawg
I realize that I neglected to add that the other cop that showed up tried to tazer me while I was wedged in the door of the cruiser. So that's twice I was tazered at the scene.

So once I'm in the cruiser, I start to calm down a little bit. I knew that once the cuffs are on, they aren't coming off, so even though I had just been beaten, and tazered by this guy, we get to talking a little. He keeps asking me why I didn't just walk away? I told him that I had no place else to go, and that if I did walk away, I'd probably pass out in a bush and get arrested for public intox. He laughed, and told me that I was probably right.

Once we finally make it to the Hillsborough county lock up, I was getting a little agitated again. Not with the cop, but with myself for being in this situation. Again. I believe that the other cop had radioed the deputies at the jail that I was "difficult" to control and about the lack of tazer effect. There were about eight deputies waiting for me in side the car-port. And that's when the abuse really started. They dragged me out of the car and let me drop right into the pavement, headfirst. Then they started dragging me towards the door (I'm still Hog-Tied at this point). They took the cuffs off my legs when we reached the door, so they wouldn't have to drag me up a couple of steps, but they were shoving me around and I was slamming into shit. It's all unclear because so much was going on and I was still kind of drunk. Anyway, the deputies were taunting me and saying shit about what a tough guy I thought I was and how they'll show me just how tough I really am and shit like that. I'm all pissed off, but I was actually keeping it cool.

My superpower, aside from my high pain threshold, is the fact that when I become flooded with adrenaline, everything slows down. All my thoughts become crystal clear and logical. I can see everything happening (kind of) three steps ahead. That's why I was such a good Security Guard way back when. And that's exactly why I get into cop trouble. They don't like it when I can verbally take them apart, tear their bloated egos to shreds. Even while they are beating me. I'm still talking to them in a normal voice and questioning their actions and why they feel the need to do "this" to me, or if they did "that" to me because they have mother issues and shit I can't even remember because I only get to be that smart when I'm all flooded with adrenaline. So they are running me through the initial stages of booking...Removing all the shit I had in my pockets, getting my name and DOB and whatnot. Meanwhile, I'm doing a running commentary on weather infantalizing me was making them feel better about themselves, or were they doing it because I scared mthem, or if it was just going to make a good story in the breakroom. And so on. The more incisive I got with them the rougher they got, and the rougher they got, the more deputies surrounded me.

I was a big hit with the other inmates though. They were all hooting and cheering me on, which I suppose only encouraged me to piss them off even more, not to mention that the extra attention was ramping up the humiliation factor. So I was counting on the fact that I was only facing three misdemeanors and that I'd be able to bail myself out as soon as I sobered up. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that these were actual DEPUTIES and not just Prison Guards like we have up north. the only thing Sheriff's do around here is serve divorce papers and crap like that. I didn't know exactly where a "deputy" falls in the big picture. Anyway. I'm calmly insulting each and every one of them, they are getting really edgy with me, pushy and grabbby. And I'm headed directly at the biggest brick wall I've ever hit, at a rate of speed that I couldn't even measure. I'm still all fucked up and afraid of the police, to the point of almost being agoraphobic. Just because I was being such a smarmy wiseass. Cops don't like it when it's obvious that you are much more intelligent than they could ever hope to be. And they like to do something about it when they can. Natch.

So I have this earring. It's made out of white gold and is in the shape of a shackle. You farm-types would know what I'm talking about as a Clevis. Anyway it's a white gold shackle and it actually works. The "pin" part of the shackle goes through my ear and actually has threads that screw into the other side. It is mechanically attached to my body. It's a tradition of sailors that you earn the right to wear a gold shackle in your ear after you've been around the Cape of Good Hope.

So this was the real breaking point. One of the deputies reaches up and starts to rip my earlobe in half, thinking that the earring would just pull away. Or maybe they wanted to rip my earlobe in half, I don't know. But at that moment, I reached up with my right hand and touched the deputy's forearm, in an attempt to explain the nature of the earring and that they were RIPPING MY EARLOBE IN FUCKING HALF. But I never got that far. As soon as I reached up, KA-BOOM. All the anger I'd been building up inside of all those deputies was discharged like a giant Tesla coil of hate. There was a pig-pile, and there was a lot of kicking, punching and face-smashing into concrete things. And I was getting my licks in. I got some real good licks in, as in, I sent three deputies to the hospital licks in. All the while I kept up my banter and making them angrier and angrier...It took about ten deputies to finally restrain me. I'm not saying I'm a tough guy by any means. I'm just implying it is all.

So once they had me restrained, I got "the chair". Not the electric chair, but this thing was HORRIBLE. They put you in this chair made from nylon and steel. The leg-base is wide so you can't knock it over on its side. Believe me, I tried for several hours. They put you in this chair and strap your arms to the arms, your legs to the legs and your chest to the back. You are immobile in a sitting position for as long as they want to leave you there. Try it sometime. Sit in an upright chair without being to move anything except for your head and fingers. It gets pretty uncomfortable after about ten minutes. But I was being punished. And if I had just stopped then, If I had just shut the fuck up, I probably would have gotten the chair and left in the morning with only the three original charges. But I was pissed and was enjoying making them so angry at their own stupidity that I kept running my mouth about brutality and whatnot and finally I did the really, really bad thing. One of the deputies came charging at me and tried to put his hand over my mouth while screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP" at me. When he tried to put his hand over my mouth, I opened it wide.

I opened my mouth and gently closed it so that his middle finger was between my teeth. I had a very light grip on the finger, but one thing that scares the living fuck out of anyone in that type of profession is getting bit. This was when it got really tense. Dude who was telling me to shut the fuck up got real quiet and called for some help. All the deputies piled into the room with "the Chair". And I began to give them a lecture. With dude's finger in my mouth. I told them all about abuse of power and lack of brain function. I told them all sorts of stuff, but the main point I was making was the fact that despite it taking ALL of them to even get in the chair in the first place, I was still in complete control of the whole situation. That all I had to do was apply a little pressure and deputy would lose his finger because he was abusing me. That they should treat people with respect and not animals and blah blah blah. You get the picture. And they all stood there, listening to my mumbles because there was NOTHING they could do! They didn't know if I'd really bite dude's finger off or not. They had no Idea what I was capable of at that point. I finished my lecture on respect and treating people like humans and how they were operating under an illusion of control and something about them being sub-humans. And then, as gently as I gripped dude's finger, I let go. And promptly got smashed in the face several times. Both before and after they put the bag over my head.

A nurse came in and treated all my wounds. She was really nice and told me that she couldn't stand working there because the guards were so violent. She apologized for my injuries and I think she secretly wanted to tell me that she agreed with my "finger Speech" but refrained from getting that sympathetic publicly. When my attorney tried to contact her for a deposition months later, she'd left the jail.

So then I started acting like even more of an asshole. I mean I was really acting like a giant asshole. I needed to take a leak, and they wouldn't let me out of the chair. For whatever reason, I decided that strapped down and with a bag over my head, the best course of action would to begin screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs. The adrenaline was gone, and the discomfort from the chair and my bladder were taking over my actions from the "intelligent" part of my brain. So I'd scream and swear and then pass out for a little while, only to have my bladder wake me up again. So I'd scream and swear more.

After being in the chair for about 4 and a half hours, I finally gave in. I pissed myself.

And THAT was exactly what they were waiting for. Once I had humiliated myself, they snatched the victory back from my jaws. They un-strapped me and paraded me around in front of all the other prisoners so they could see that I'd pissed myself. BUt, jesus god, it felt so good to finally let loose. I probably should have pissed myself as soon as they strapped me in. Anyway, they paraded me around and issued me prison orange. They gave me a sandwich, and the watch had changed at some point and the guy who was finishing up my booking, mugshots, etc Kept telling me that "I hear you were quite a handful last night!" I'd just grumble back that I heard that too...

So come eight o'clock, they herded us all into a central area and were going to issue us PIN numbers for our phone call. When I got up to the PIN number guy's desk, he looked at my record and said: "there's something wrong here...Hold on a minute...It looks like they are adding some charges on to you, but they are still processing it." I never got a PIN. I never got my phone call.

I waited around Orient Road jail until late afternoon, when they called out a bunch of names. They called out my name, and actually separated me from everyone else. See, we were getting on the bus for Falkenburg jail. The simply cuffed everyone else. They put me in manacles and put the chain around my waist connected to the hand-cuffs. I was singled out for special treatment.

When we got to Falkenburg, I was supposed to get thrown in Solitary confinement. Ad-Seg they call it. But when I shuffled into the "pod" the Ad-Seg deputies looked at me, read my sheet and asked me why I had sent three of their "brothers" to the hospital. Was I on DRUGS? they wanted to know. I told them that, no, I wasn't on drugs, that I just don't react well to being abused. They laughed at that, and told my escort that "look at this guy...He doesn't belong here...Send him to Gen-Pop.

Which they did, and I never got the phonecall which I had a RIGHT to for three days. I truely believe they did that in order to allow my bruises and cuts to heal a little before I could get out.

And I have to go be an uncle. I'll try and get to the three days in Falkenburg tomorrow.

But there you have it. I beat up three deputies bad enough that they went to the hospital, and kept the entire orient road operation at a standstill while I had a dude's finger lightly held in my teeth and lectured them about abuse of power and how they should be better human beings. I ended up with three felony counts of "battery on a Law Enforcement officer" and was looking at something like 30 years in prison.

By the way, look up "orient road jail" on youtube, there's a lot of footage of those bastards.

Date: 2010-06-09 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Shut the fuck up. Seriously?! I am dying over here, laughing until I can't breathe. I'm sorry you had to go through such bullshit, BUT I am glad you are a tough guy (even an implied one) and gave them the business.

Yeah. Like you really needed to be in Gen-Pop after all of that. Jeeeesus.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad you liked it.

There is so much more to the story...This shit consumed my life for like three years, and I'm still recovering. But, yeah, i think it's pretty fucking funny myself.

And by the way, I was able to plead out to three charges of resisting, WITHOUT violence when all was said and done. Orient Road "lost" the videotape of the whole thing.

Date: 2010-06-10 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Uh huh. Surrrre they did. Oh well, you win. Assholes.

Date: 2011-02-27 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's so weird! What are your theories as to why they 'lost' it? They were doing some fucked up shit to you, maybe it'd make them look bad in court?

Glad to hear you got out of this.

Date: 2010-06-09 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
shit shit shit

Date: 2010-06-10 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I just hope it lived up to the hype.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
easily on par with the one-eyed whore.

Date: 2010-06-10 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wait, what? There's a one-eyed whore? How did I miss this?

Date: 2010-06-10 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I know this isn't the point of the story, but...
I adore that people can get a special earring for where they've sailed. I was hanging out around the Waterford, NY Flight of Locks on the Erie Canal last weekend and was fantasizing about getting on a boat.

In other news, this series has inspired me to look up all the arrest records of old Florida friends on the Hillsborough County Sheriff's website. Funny reading.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I know those locks very well. I can't even count how many times I've traveled the Erie. It's one of my favorite voyages.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It was us, the dude running the locks, and a handful of elderlies who looked like lock geeks. I knew there were old train fanatics, but locks? Really? I mean, I guess they ARE awesome.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
On the Erie (and Oswego, et al...) the locks are judged yearly for their aesthetics. The Lock-Keepers are VERY competitive.

My boat was built specifically to be the largest boat that can travel the canal, we'd break off at Silver lake and end up out in Oswego, and then up to Quebec.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The one we saw was very well-painted in the obnoxious New York state colors. There were kind of a lot of dead fish, though.

Most of the boats we saw going through the lock were little ones, since it was around Memorial Day. It was hard to imagine how big one could actually be and still fit in the lock.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
185' long and 52' on the beam. It was a small cruise ship. We had like six inches of clearance on the smallest of the locks.

And here she is:

Image (

Bush League

Date: 2010-06-10 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So basically you got all redneck white trash when you were pulled in for booking and got beat down by a bunch of county hourly employees?

Civility and graciousness are always in good taste.

Re: Bush League

Date: 2010-06-11 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Basically, I don't roll over and let people beat the shit out of me for no good reason other than they can. The abuse started when i was pulled out of the cruiser. The arresting officer and I were on good terms by then.

Re: Bush League

Date: 2010-06-11 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Dude he tased you. And then his buddy did too. He probably wasn't so much "good terms" as trying to be nonconfrontational and professional.

Re: Bush League

Date: 2010-06-11 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And I'm not trying to defend my actions, but explain that I was standing up for basic human rights. When I was in charge of 3rd shift security at the hospital, I'd dismiss certain Gulf war I vets that I knew were prone to incite "violent" behaviours in the guys in the drunk tanks, just so they could get their kicks by beating up drunks. Never-mind the fact that I was denied my Miranda right for a phone-call for 4 days...Yes, I was being an asshole, I completely own and admit to that, but "civility and graciousness" would have gotten me nowhere.

I have an enormous amount of respect for you, what you've been through, and what you are doing. But, I would like to think that you'd actually try and retain some sort of personal dignity (as far as the situation could afford) if placed in the same situation.

This particular jail has one of the highest rates of abuse allegations on the country. They were the ones that dumped the paraplegic out of the wheelchair because they "didn't believe him".

From my days as a security guard (which I know you still think is bush-league, but I had guns, knives and all sorts of horrible stuff to deal with then) I know how cocky someone can get when they know they have ten people at their back.

I hope you understand that my civil rights that you have fought for, were being violated, and that I hope you would do the same when faced with the same situation. Your frame of mind changes when you are getting beaten, and not doing the beating.

Re: Bush League

Date: 2010-06-11 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh c'mon, I haven't always been doing this. Why there was a time....

Dude, the no bullshit is that right or wrong you were acting like a drunk asshole, and you paid the price. I'm not saying that you should have ever gotten arrested, but you definitely shouldn't have took off from those guys. Your behavior once you got to booking just added to it. I'm not judging, remind me sometime to tell you the story of the night I beat up some carbineri in Italy before they finally got enough guys to hold me down. And of course...I was drunk.

I've been on both sides of this. I've been beat down by cops, shit I had it happen to me when I was a kid, how fucked up is that? I've also gone quietly and respectfully, and they feel bad that they have to use handcuffs, and they take them off when the camera goes away.

Here's another thing, if you're not acting like a dick to begin with you radically reduce your chances of being arrested in the first place.

Not saying by any means "go into recovery" or anything like that, but surely you recognize that your behavior and alcohol abuse has consequences, dig?


Re: Bush League

Date: 2010-06-15 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I dig.

You are right on many levels, and I am undergoing a time of chainging my behaviour...Once this leave ends, it'll be a whole new Saltdog. I'm hoping I can promise you that. In any case, I understand and acknolidge everything you've said about this situation (aside from acting like a rednecck. I was accting like a Swamp Yankee...) but right or wrong, I'm just finally coming clean about what actually happened.

There are so many times, at my advanced age, where I wonder what I could have really accomplished if I had joined Navy or USCG, or even the Army (Which actually has more boats than Navy, but you probably know that...) However the fact remains that I have problems with "Authority"figures and if I HAD gone military, I would probably have been shot by now. By court-Marshal rules, and such.

Anyway, I assent to your charges that I esclated the situation by acting like an asshole. I OWN that fact, I believe I wrote something to that effect above. However, the basic point of the whole saga is that cops can do anything they like and get away with it,The cops that arrested me in RI outright LIED on the stand, and my protestations made no difference whatsoever. The Judge believed them, however when I was about to face a Jury Of My Peers, the state
s Attorney knew I'd win and the charges were dropped because the whole situation was so luridly ridiculous.

Anyway, that's this country and the state of Florida being what it is. I don't know how much Rhode Island history you know, but I was raised on a steady diet of
personal freedoms" and the fact that a man controls his destiny. I guess that's where I get off-topic. It's the authority figure thing. In RI we are taught from an early age that the Authority figures are BS and to be questioned at every step. Because we wouldn't be living here if Roger Williams didn't chqallange the "authority" of the Mass. Bay company. And other bullshit. And the totalrian state of my state, florida, and my country scares the bejezus out of me, and makes me long to live in a place like Mozambique, where the cops can be bought off because the almighty dollar trumps their sense of Machismo or whatever.

I hope we are still "friends" through all of this. Like I said, I WAS being a dick, but I didn't deserve to endure the blatent abuse by the Deputies at lock up. I deserved to get beaten by the cops at the scene, but not at lock-up.

Re: Bush League

Date: 2011-02-27 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You fucking rock.

Date: 2010-06-10 07:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
you know, there is a teeny handful of folks on my lj f-list who have great stories and are superb storytellers as well... this is such good stuff, man. Really. I loved the speech w/the finger in your mouth best of all!

(though not even remotely the same experience, I have been tightly immobilized, saran-wrapped, arms at my sides, from chest to below knees in a straightback wooden dining room chair and had a gorgeous, sadistic woman straddle my lap and claw it away from me shred by shred. While I enjoyed it tremendously, I do remember feeling great physical relief when I was finally "freed" and could stand again...

I shudder to think what she would have done had I peed though...)
Edited Date: 2010-06-10 07:20 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-06-11 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's a whole different ball of HOT wax...

Date: 2010-06-10 09:12 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-06-11 03:24 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-06-10 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Damn good story. I'm speechless. Is that yr mugshot in the orange jumpsuit?

Date: 2010-06-11 03:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The one and the same. I've been trying to get my Mug-shot from the "miami" incident, but dade county os a lot tighter with their online access. Besides, I think that was totally expunged about two days after it happened. It never came up while I was being booked in Tampa.

Date: 2010-06-10 11:06 am (UTC)
nanila: me (Default)
From: [personal profile] nanila
I have one question. Did your earring stay in?

Date: 2010-06-10 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
No. The nurse removed it.

I left it out of my ear until I disposed of the charges. It's back in now.

Date: 2010-06-10 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Holy. Shit.

Date: 2010-06-11 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I hope you understand now.

Also, I'd help you move, but I'm like a coastline away right now.

Date: 2010-06-10 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I haven't read lj in forever, and yours is the first post I read.

You are quite simply the most awesome man to walk the planet.

Date: 2010-06-11 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I'd been wondering where you were.

Date: 2010-06-10 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Holy crap, that's one hell of a story (both parts).

I'm glad you gave as good as you got, but frankly I'm not surprised. Almost all cops are control freaks, and it seriously rattles their cage when they feel out of control. I've trained with a few cops before and they're okay by themselves, but you can tell they're usually very linear thinkers. Anything that goes outside of their box, they just have a really hard time understanding.

Date: 2010-06-11 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
No, I got better than I gave. But they had numbers on their side.

I've known plenty of cerebral, intelligent cops in my day. Just never while I was being arrested.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-06-11 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Get me a publisher, babe. Also, line up all the other miscreants that were abused at Orient Road. It'd make a good compilation.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-06-15 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'll never be able to calm my mind enough to sit down and codify this shit. I need a Ghost writer. I've got the stories and the words, but not the patience. Also, I don't know if I'll be able to make the soiree. It all depends on the agenda(s) of my escorts. Which, as the gentleman I am, I defer to.

BUt it would be totally bitchin' to hang out again. I've got stuff to tell you...

Date: 2010-06-11 07:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
ohmygod man

Date: 2010-06-11 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Really. At least I get to be the "expert" when my shipmates get arrested.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-06-11 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I just have problems with authority.

Just don't get all authorative about economics and we'll be fine.
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